A Marriage To Remember: The Genius of Marian in The New York Times

September 18, 2014

Recently, The New York Times featured our Op-Doc based on The Genius of Marian. The piece,  “A Marriage to Remember,” focuses specifically on Banker’s parents and how Alzheimer’s has affected their marriage. Spanning the course of their years together, the piece focuses on Ed’s changing role in their marriage. His dedication to his wife throughout her deteriorating condition is poignant, both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time: “It’s nice that she smiles when she sees me – thank God for that.”

Like the full documentary, “A Marriage to Remember” is an intimate look into the White family’s life and their unwavering love. Even though it’s an immense amount of work for Ed, he’s happy – “I don’t mind doing it – I like being with her.”

Banker adds his own perspective. While he’s not directly involved in his parents’ changing marriage dynamic, he is still a caregiver and, as a result, he is deeply affected by the changes in his mother:

The experience of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can be incredibly isolating, at a time when you need support the most. We are grateful that this process has helped us to come together as a family and as a community to celebrate that most precious gift of all: our memories.

Being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s is emotionally, physically and financially draining and there are millions of Americans sharing similar experiences. Whether it is a spouse, parent, other family member or friend, we are all affected.

Many people experience extreme guilt about seeking outside help, but in reality, it is most often an unavoidable part any degenerative disease, such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. In fact, once support is in place, many regret that it took so long to reach out for professional help. Too often, caretakers become both mentally and physically drained. There have been numerous documented cases of caregivers losing themselves to depression, alcoholism and even death. Says one commenter, “In effect, my five siblings and I lost both parents to this disease.”

Learn More: Caregiver Stress and Burnout

Both The Genius of Marian documentary film and the Genius of Caring web experience shine a light on the enormous toll that diseases like Alzheimer’s and dementia take on caregivers. The goal is for more and more people to include their own stories and share real-world experiences. Hopefully this will help other people understand that, not only is it a good thing to ask for help, but you are definitely not alone.